The sexologists dispel or confirm for us 15 clichés about female pleasure. Starting from the legendary G-spot, up to the games and special fetishes that inhibit her pleasure.
Keep reading to discover each myth.m
Getting there is simple
Getting it is simple. False. For women, it is more difficult than for men. Scientific researches give” success rates” around 70 percent against 90. The latest important research notes that 34.7 % of women always reach it, 38 percent often, notes the psycho-sexologist. And the other women? In the meantime, they should exclude organic causes with a gynecological examination that evaluates any hormonal problems or difficulties of the muscular plexuses involved. Having ascertained that there are no objective disturbances, we move on to evaluate the blocking psychological conditioning, such as social and religious complexes or those of understanding with the partner.
Many don’t try it because they don’t know what it is. They report experiencing a pleasant sensation, which, however, upon analysis with the sexologist, turns out not to be an orgasm. Only that these women are embarrassed to talk about it and hardly bring out the problem with the partner. Introducing vibrating sexual playthings or vaginal balls will certainly shift things around and will help her understand and experience the real feeling.
The perfect one is simultaneous
The perfect one is simultaneous. False. Each person has his own times and making them coincide is not at all obvious. Everyone has their own background, experienced or even just influenced by cultural, religious, and educational past. Furthermore, according to statistics on the time of coitus, women take longer than men to achieve pleasure: about twenty minutes, compared to seven.
Women need double foreplay
Women need double foreplay. True. More or less. If it is established that an average of seven minutes of coitus is enough for men to have orgasm and women need twenty, it is easy to deduce that foreplay is particularly useful for synchronizing the timing of the couple. But there is not some sort of magic rule of the relationship.
Creative practices are better
Alternative practices are more effective. True and False. Women more than men often reach orgasm not with penetration but with masturbation or oral sex or in other more creative ways, as the latest Indiana University research on the Gender Gap of Orgasm shows. The research finds that within the same report, out of 1,930 respondents, 965 women, 263 said they had reached it with cunnilingus, 199 with masturbation practiced by their partner. But this fact also lies in the difference in the timing of coitus between men and women, so when he is faster, other ways are sought for her to make the meeting satisfactory.
Without orgasm there is no pleasure
Without orgasm, there is no pleasure. False. We must dispel the myth that orgasm is equivalent to pleasure. What we try to explain in clinical experience is that the goal is not the orgasm itself, but a pleasant experience of an intimate meeting with a partner that you like. In short, if orgasm does not always come, but everything else was nice, it makes no sense to get useless frustrations and get sad as if a happy party had been useless.
If she pretends he doesn’t notice
If she pretends he doesn’t notice. True. It’s practically impossible for a man to tell if she’s faking. Unless it is a long-term relationship and the two have a lot of confidence and know each other well. Women pretend because they feel defective, or because they are afraid of embarrassing their partner. Sometimes, they do it to end a relationship that has become boring or tiring. Women pretend and even boys often turn to the sexologist with that atrocious doubt: are you pretending? For them, satisfying the partner is a certification of virile abilities. But a woman is fine not if he ‘is good’, but if together the couple establishes an effective communication mechanism, which also allows them to experiment with techniques, tools, and practices that are pleasant for both of them.
Games and fantasies help
Games and fantasies help. True. Speaking of “playful practices”, all the possible playful variations of the relationship help pleasure, if shared in spirit by both partners. This of course includes introducing sex toys in your bedroom. As for fantasies, however, it is false that only men help themselves with erotic fantasies. The cliché of males who have sex thinking of another has its own foundation of reality, but women also travel with the mind, except that, often, confessing it is still a taboo.
BDSM is in fashion
BDSM is in fashion. True and False. Since the phenomenon of 50 shades of gray exploded, first with the books and then with the film, there is more curiosity on the part of women on a topic that is talked about the most, but there is no measurable evidence that women practice it.
Better in contact with nature
Open-air is better. True. Doing it outdoors has a primordial, instinctive, wild appeal. Women are very attentive to the context and the atmosphere. Doing it in a forest is magical, but doing it instead in a parking lot can make you nervous for fear of being seen. It depends on personal nature, of course. Many find it exciting to do it in an elevator or other public place: it is the fascination of transgression. But transgression is not aphrodisiac for everyone.
In the end, the most important part is to understand that talking about everything you wish to try and what is bothering you, will make everything better. There is the erroneous belief that talking about sexual problems with your partner reduces the magic and instills performance anxiety. Feelings of guilt are created: she thinks she is doing something wrong, he thinks she is not good. Talking about it within the couple is essential to find together the most pleasant ways of meeting for both.